Flight Attendant School prepares you for the next step, becoming a Flight Attendant. Your Flight Attendant Career will bring you ever changing scenarios, and experiences.

It has been over 14 years that my Flight Attendant Career has spanned. I have seen people at their best, and at their worst. I have had life and death medical experiences. I have flown with some outstanding and not so outstanding crew members. I have learned, sometimes the hard way, know your limitations, and pass the monkey whenever it is an appropriate time.

The “Monkey”, can be many things. The “Monkey” could be an unruly passenger while parked at the gate. The “Monkey” could be seat duplications, or meals not arriving to the aircraft before departure time.

The “Monkey” will cause you stress, will adjust your attitude, and start or end your day in a nasty way.

Know the chain of command. Know who is ultimately responsible for what.

It’s 3 minutes before departure, and we are still boarding (the airline industry is rated by a few factors).  One of these factors is on time departures and arrivals. It is now 11 minutes past departure time, we now have a family of five rushing on the aircraft. Three of the five passengers are under the age of six years old.

The parents have been assigned separate seats, middle seats of course. The children were separated in their own middle seats, with the youngest in the emergency row.

Our first instinct is to immediately try to re- seat this family together. However, our full flight of Newark passengers didn’t seem to want to cooperate.

The “Monkey” is going to be this, which work group will be tagged with the delay, because of the seating madness.

That is where we take a breath, call the Captain, inform him of the situation, and request a Gate Agent Supervisor come down to the aircraft to correct this seating issue.

We tried, time was not our friend, and sometimes those tricky Gate Agents will tag this kind of delay on the Flight Crew.

The Gate Supervisor appears. He ends up offering first class vouchers for the next flight. A couple of passengers take him up on the offer. The seat problem is fixed.

The Flight Crew will not be visited by their friendly In-flight Supervisor when we get home. All is well.

The banana goes to the Boarding Agents. Things happen; follow procedure and most times it will work out the right way.

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In my second week of my flight attendant career I had my first three day trip.  It had gone well and the fates had decided that was not the case with this last leg.  Fifteen minutes from home and seat 3A starts to have a heart attack.

I contacted the cockpit and gave them the vitals (you learn what vital information is in Flight Attendant School): 70-year old man, feeling extreme pains in his chest and arm, has taken two Nitrox pills, face is white, and he says he’s a cardiologist.  The cockpit told me to keep them informed and they’d have an ambulance ready on the ground and a doctor on standby if I need him.

The irony of a cardiologist going into cardiac arrest did not elude me.  I took the defibrillator out for stand by and sat with him.  I made him take off his sunglasses, though resilient, so I could see his eyes and monitor his vitals.  Through conversation, I found out he was going to his retirement/award ceremony in Fort Lauderdale.

We emergency landed and the tough old guy walked himself off the plane and into the ambulance.  Afterwards all I could think about was how he kept on trying to coach me!  Once I got to my car, I cried, a lot.  One thing I learned fast, you only have the moment to get it right, you can always panic and cry about the events later.

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Your Flight Attendant Career will bring you to many places, foreign and domestic; depending on a few factors which include your layover time, your state of jet lag, the weather, and your crew.

Flight Attendants will actually spend time with the new recruits in Flight Attendant School. I remember having a Hispanic Flight Attendant named George assist our instructor a year ago in our Recurrent Training Class.

I had never flown with George before this trip. He seemed to be an ok guy. George said he was from Mexico City, and that’s where we were going.

We landed in Mexico City at 6 p.m. local time. We all did the Custom thing, and headed for the hotel. Our hotel was right on the airport property.

We checked in, George asked me, “Would you like to see Mexico City and get a bite to eat?”  We met downstairs a half-hour later.

George had family in Mexico City. One of his cousins picked us up, and drove us into town.
As we drove through the city it was very dark. I never had seen Mexico City in the light or dark. It reminded me of a “Batman” shot of what Gotham City looked like.

We were dropped off by his cousin and started walking around, in search of someplace to eat.

Residents of the neighborhood we were in open their homes as restaurants for dinner. Hard plastic chairs, portable tables, and open cooking help people make an extra income in the evening.

We sat down and were served. There weren’t any Club Sandwiches on the menu; hey, there wasn’t a menu!

We ate things I was afraid to ask what they may have been. At one point their looked to be noodles in my soup. I asked George, and he shook his head, with that yeah their noodles alright… I learned the next day that they weren’t noodles at all, they were cow intestines!

I didn’t die. I met some cool new people. I chewed on something that looked like a ligament, and went home to my club sandwich.

Moral of the story: Keep your mind open, and always think noodles.

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I’m sure you’ve witnessed it: parents arguing in a restaurant, adults throwing a public fit when they have to wait more than 20 seconds for a latte.  In other words, adults acting like kids.  By choosing a Flight Attendant Career you’ll spend a lot of time with adult passengers, but interact with children on every flight (except business or corporate).  Is this a good thing?  Well, sometimes not as much but most of the time, kids keep you on your toes and are good observation material for human behavior.

I’ve seen many wary adult flyers.  Those who grasp the arm of the poor passenger to their left or the ones who stare straight ahead the entire flight, thinking that will somehow ensure their safety.  Kids however, are at times fast asleep before the plane even taxis.  They also seem to deal with delays in a much more mature fashion than Mom or Dad.  (At least I’ve never seen a child throw a drink at a flight attendant because of a delay).

Kids are also fascinated by what flight attendants do.  They ask great questions, like, “When the plane takes off, do you fly around like astronauts”? They’re curious about things that have nothing to do with air travel: how old you are, if you’re married or have a boyfriend.  I was often asked if I like my job or if my feet hurt.  (Answer to both: yes)

During your classes in Flight Attendant School, you’ll get lots of information on how to deal with difficult passengers and unruly behavior.  Don’t assume you’ll need to apply that information to children.  It’s more oftentimes applicable to adults who have forgotten their good manners.

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Have you ever wondered where you were at? Have you ever been lost, in your own town? It’s the where am I syndrome. I hear it from my wife all of the time, “Do you know where you are?”

Unfortunately this syndrome happens to me more at home than when I am on the road, or strangely enough in the sky.

During our Flight Attendant Careers we experience more than we will ever learn in Flight Attendant School. People, colleagues, emergencies, and even directions are some of the things that only experience and seniority can teach.

I live in Arizona, yet I am always wondering how to get there from here.

When I’m in Philadelphia, I can show you the sights like a taxi driver. When I’m in Miami and you are thirsty for the beach or an adult beverage, look no more, I’m your man. In New York City, I can take you from Broadway to the Bronx. Fenway Park in Boston, no problem. The best beach taco place in Carlsbad, get ready to salsa up. Don’t even get me started about where to go, and what to do in Las Vegas.

However, I still can’t remember if it’s 7th Street or 7th Ave, to exit for Chase Field in Phoenix.

Interestingly enough, after some time in your Flight Attendant Career, you too will also have the ability to tell passengers almost exactly where you are. Its two hours and sixteen minutes of a four hour flight when I say Chicago, look out your window and wallah! I wish I could grab you a Vienna from Gold Coast.

By the way, have you seen my car keys lately?

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You are not stepping into any job, you are moving into a flight attendant career, and as flight attendant school taught, you must depend on your crew.  After I had a run in with one particular passenger multiple times that lesson was brought home.

Early morning flights from Tallahassee, Fl (state capital) were typically suit and tie flights.  While boarding I had noticed that we had a state representative on our flight.  His behavior and mouth was beyond shocking.

Every time I passed by or near this “gentleman” I heard nothing neither pleasant nor discreet coming out of his trap.  Each time I heard him talking he was charging me with stereo-typical qualities of my profession: low education, lack of intelligence, questionable fidelity, etc.  After I requested he stop talking about me like that, he kept on making his comments, “She must be on her period!”

We had not taken off yet and the Captain offered the passenger an ultimatum: apologize or get off the plane.  Once this man finished laughing at the Captain, he explained that disrespect towards the flight attendant was a hazard to the flight.  After a ten minute stand-off the passenger apologized.

The second flight he was on he tried his luck at bashing me again.  Thankfully I was with the same crew again, once he realized that too, he apologized; the third flight?  Not a sound escaped his lips.  Thankfully, he was not reelected the following election.

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There will be times in Flight Attendant School that one may feel like they are making vegetable soup.

Acronyms in the flying business - is like the spring without the fall. There is only one thing worse in your universe, and that’s not to know the hundreds of acronyms at all.

“Hey Mike we’ve got a LEO in 21 D”. Leo is short for Law Enforcement Officer. Sometimes our Leo’s travel alone, sometimes they bring guests that are wearing jewelry (hand cuffs).

Sometimes we may have two or three Leo’s on board. They all need to know where each other are. The last thing we want is the OK Corral on the 757.

In our Flight Attendant Careers we attend not only the initial Flight Attendant School, but each year we go through Recurrent Training. We get re-certified, rejuvenated, and get to learn the latest new acronyms.

Question on the test may read:  “Where are the POB’s located on the 757?” POB is the acronym for Portable Oxygen Bottle.

It is important to know where your FL (Flashlight) is. Probably want to know if the lavs (lavatories) are in op (Inoperable) or not.

Did the guy go crazy on A/C R or A/C L (aircraft right or left)?

Did you preflight the FAK, First Aid Kit? Did the MEG (Megaphone), have an audible click when it was checked?

On and on it goes.

In Flight Attendant School we also learned our city codes. Memorize them because one never knows when they may have to check a bag to SFO (San Francisco), or HNL (Honolulu). Those are the easy ones. Try remembering DSM, (Des Moines), FCA, (Kalispell, Montana), or ZLO (Manzanillo Colima Mexico).

Don’t worry, even though there are a random 100 city codes on the test, 25 acronyms, and a placement map for all of the emergency equipment, you get to miss not more than 15 percent, or you fail.

Once one makes it through the madness of the acronym, one can start making up their own; when needed and justified.

“Hey Mike we’ve got a real PITA in 6D (Pain in the ………).”

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My heart has never broken the way it did when I met a 102 year old woman on a flight to Virginia.  Flight attendant school never really teaches you about the people you meet, just the situations.

A pre-board accompanied by a nurse stepped onto my plane.  The plane I was on had a six step climb from tarmac to fuselage.  I watched this little old lady, MAYBE five foot tall, with wrists and legs as thick as my two fingers walk out refusing a wheel chair and then refusing the nurse’s aide up the stairs, hoist herself up.  She was a very strong willed, frail bodied woman.

While the other passengers were boarding and the pilots were taking care of paperwork, she told me about her yearly visits to Florida.  She and her husband had lived in Florida all of their lives, when her husband passed away her daughter had her move in with her and her family in Virginia.  She returned to Florida every year for two weeks to celebrate her and her husband’s anniversary.  She said that this year was their 86th anniversary!

As the plane took off I heard her say in a sad, regretful, sweet voice, “Good-bye my Florida, good-bye my Love, you will always be with me.”  I about cried.  Her nurse later told me that her daughter wasn’t letting her come back again.

The strongest, oldest, wisest, saddest person I ever met during my flight attendant career.

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As a Flight Attendant, often dealing with over 500 passengers a day, your patience will be tested over and over.  Just like having a handful of toddlers at home, you need to speak clearly, not raise your voice and hold back from screaming like a wild banshee when asked the most inane questions.  After presenting the safety script, including the portion on how to buckle a seat belt, you will, at some point in your Flight Attendant Career, have a passenger ask you to repeat it.  While you’ll want to remind them that had they looked up from their issues of Star magazine long enough to see it the first time, you wouldn’t have to take time away from your duties to demonstrate the complicated task of buckling a seat belt one-on-one.

How about the passenger who asks if you can get them a discount on items listed in the in-flight magazine?  Or the passenger who inquires if there’s any softer toilet paper on board than that in the bathroom.  It gets better.  I’ve been asked if I could get a passenger a cappuccino.  “Sure.  No problem.  Will that be a venti skim or no-whip, no foam?”

I’m constantly amazed at how some passengers have no hesitations about their requests.  Can I get them discounted flights?  Can I make the tea water hotter?  Can I hold their baby while they adjust their headsets?  Do I baby sit in my spare time?

Smiling, trying to always accommodate passengers’ requests and acting in a professional manner are all topics covered in Flight Attendant School.  Maybe there should also be a quick course on patience building.  A good strategy would be to bring in a group of 4 year-olds for the day and see how many potential flight attendants are left with their sanity intact at the end of the day.

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They don’t prepare you for situations like this in flight attendant school, at least not explicitly. Having been around for a few years, however, I have been in situations where I thought something was going on in that tiny room. There have been several such occurrences throughout my flight attendant career, and I know it’s really a victimless crime.

Often two lovebirds slip into the lavatory, one after the other. Sometimes they try to be stealthy about it, and sometimes not so much, especially when they’ve been drinking. I normally just go about my business, and next thing I know, two people come out of the lavatory, flushed and smiling.

They usually return to their seats and whisper sweet nothings to each other, bothering no one. I often wonder how many of the passengers notice these things happen. When people try to hide it, it’s usually fine, but on one long flight, I watched a couple stumble down the rows and enter the bathroom.

Soon enough, they were being quite loud, and of course I didn’t want them to disturb the other passengers. However, it was quiet in the cabin, and no one was in line for the lavatory. At five in the morning, with most of the passengers asleep, I said what the hell, and let them have their fun.

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