There are bunches of things we learn as our Flight Attendant Career progresses. Some things we learn while in Flight Attendant School and some things as we go forward in our careers.

There is one thing that is consistent to most Flight Attendants; we don’t compromise safety, ever.

I was tested a few years ago in regards to safety, and I risked my Flight Attendant Career with my ultimate decision.

It was a typical 110 degree summer day in Phoenix. We were performing our pre-flight safety checks. One of the areas we check is the pressure gauge on the emergency slide. The emergency slides are a critical piece of safety equipment. If the emergency slide doesn’t have enough pressure to engage, the exit becomes inoperable. We want all of our exits to be safe and in working order.

Today, the pressure gauge indicated that the slide would not deploy. I notified the captain and he summoned the mechanics to correct the issue.

Boarding of the flight was delayed, and the mechanic arrived to either fix or replace the slide.

Our captain was a real “Company Man”. He had worked in accounting long before he got his license to fly so he didn’t like delays for any reason.

I sat in the back galley and watched our mechanic open and shut the aft left door over and over again.

The slide was lodged in the compartment below the door, and the mechanic didn’t seem to be playing with it. Heck, what do I know, I’m just the Flight Attendant.

Finally, I asked the mechanic, “What are you doing”? He replied that he was trying to get the pressure gauge moved to a positive position. I shared with him that the gauge was probably in this position because the slide needed to be replaced.

The captain had ventured back to the aft galley just in time to hear the mechanic reply, “Do you know how much these slides cost?”

I then asked the mechanic, “What do you care what they cost? The slide is inoperable, let’s fix it or replace it.  Are you related to the CEO?”

After hearing the exchange the captain says,” That’s it, slide’s fine we are going”.

I couldn’t believe it. I went up to the flight deck as the captain was waiving the slide off and said, “I don’t feel safe flying with you.  I want off the trip.”

The captain called an In-Flight Supervisor. The supervisor looked at the slide, and said to me, “I can see what you mean. However, the captain deems the slide to be safe, and you have to go on the trip.”

I respectfully asked her if she had lost her mind and I told her, “I’m outta here”.

I wrote up an Irregularity report, called our Union Safety Representative, and never heard about it again.

The slide was replaced in Atlanta that evening.

Always remember that we are there for the safety of our passengers.

Popularity: 78% [?]

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It won’t be too long once you have started a Flight Attendant Career to start putting together a who’s who list of famous celebrities that have been on your flights.

In Flight Attendant School we are introduced to some of the procedures that adhere to having celebrities on board.

Some of the people you will encounter will leave just the memory of that person being on your flight. Some of these famous people will leave an everlasting memory of your flight together.

Not too long ago, I had one of those memorable moments.  I had Glen Campbell on a flight of mine.

Mr. Campbell looked a bit haggard when he had entered the airplane. He had just completed a concert in Pittsburgh and was going home to Phoenix, Arizona.

I had asked him how he was doing as he had entered. He was gracious in his reply, and asked me how I was. I shared with him that I was vertical today, and that was something I had going for me. Mr. Campbell laughed and sat down in his seat.

We are not supposed to bother celebrities.  He looked tired so I left him alone.

It wasn’t too long after my first service that he came up to the front of the cabin to talk with me.

Mr. Campbell was an easy going guy. We started to talk about the “Smother Brothers Variety Show” he was on years ago. I used to watch that show as a kid, and it was pretty cool to hear him talk about that experience.

We then shared that we each had eight children, and we laughed over that subject as we exchanged crazy tales. I had told him that two of my sons lived in Steubenville, Ohio and he exclaimed, “That’s where Dean was from”.

Dean Martin is who he was referring to. Dean Martin is a Steubenville landmark; the man has a shopping area named after him. In addition, I’m from an Italian family and we were brought up on “That’s Amore.”

He shared with me some Dean Martin stories, and I thought, “How cool is this?”

The highlight of the trip was what Mr. Campbell did next. He voluntarily walked through the coach cabin and talked with everyone that wanted to talk to him. He signed autographs and treated our passengers as if he knew them all.

“Bye the Time We Got to Phoenix” everyone, including our Flight Crew, had a trip that was very “Gentle on Our Mind.”

Popularity: 87% [?]

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In the summer we see many children on our flights. Most of the little ones are with parents. Most of them are on their way to and from vacation. However, every once in a while we run into a real heart breaker.

In Flight Attendant School we learn about young children that are traveling on their own. We have special procedures and paperwork that is to be followed to take care of our “unaccompanied minors”.

Most of our little travelers are well behaved. Some are going on vacation, some are on their way to see Grandma and Grandpa, and some are on their way to see their mom or dad.

It’s tough to be a kid these days. Divorce has taken its toll on many of us, but our children really pay the price, especially when the grown-ups are angry with each other.

Savanna was about eight years old, a beautiful little girl. Today was a tough day for Savanna. She was leaving her daddy in Florida and going back to her home in Arizona.

Savanna was very sad. She was crying at her seat and she told me how much she missed her daddy. Her heart was broken and she was breaking mine.

In my Flight Attendant Career I have learned that how we look at and how we respond to adversity is the way our life will move forward.

I have always tried to stay positive. I try to look at the half glass of juice as being half full at all times.

I gave this little girl a hug and asked her if she might want to help me. I told her that the plane was full and that I am real old, real slow, and could sure use some help.

We agreed that she would stay seated while the seat belt sign was on and there were rules to be followed.

She started to smile and I started to feel better.

I discussed this with my co-workers and we were good to go.

We gave Savanna an apron, put some wings on her, and loaded her up with pretzels. Off Savanna went, just like a pro.

Savanna smiled and the passengers loved her. When she arrived in Phoenix she got a big round of applause from our passengers and a big hug from her mom.

It turned out to be a good day at the office

Popularity: 85% [?]

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It was the night before Halloween.  No, this isn’t that kind of holiday story.

I was working the First Class section. I was tired and not in the best of spirits. I had celebrated Halloween a night early and not all the goblins had left my body.

On a usual day I’d be playing with my passengers as they entered the aircraft. “How you doing,” they would reply, “Great how are you”, I’d answer, ” Well how do I look?”

But not today.  I wanted this day to fly by. We were due into Columbus by 4:30 p.m., and I figured to be sleeping by 6 p.m.

This was the day that you don’t learn about in Flight Attendant School.  My Bones ached, my head was throbbing, and it was all due to too much pre-Halloween, and too much Holly.

I was partied out, and the last thing I had on my mind was partying and women.

The passengers boarded, I greeted them with my best pain free fake smile. We prepared the cabin, taxied, and were on our way. Three hours twenty-five minutes and counting.

I just finished my First Class meal service, two hours and forty minutes counting, and a call button goes off in the front of the coach cabin.

I drag myself up, put on a phony smile, and ask this casually dressed, baseball capped, no makeup, wearing glasses women, “what can I get you?” She needed water; I brought her back a glass.

Ten minutes later same call button, same women, she needed a blanket. She seemed to want to chat, I was not feeling chatty.

Ten minutes later same bell, same women, she was killing me.

I think she got the hint, after another call button or two, no more dinging, peace at last.

We landed, wished everyone, “bye bye” and off to bed I went. You don’t want to have this type of day in your Flight Attendant Career.

Next day, one leg home, I had twelve hours sleep, and I was feeling real goooooood.

The same women that was ringing the call button the day before comes on-board, I said hi, and she says, “Oh it’s too late. I tried to talk to you yesterday”.

I felt bad and made time to go back to chat with her.

Chatting turned into flirting. She took of the baseball cap, removed the glasses, and I’m thinking, this is Louis Lane. She was hot.

She asks me,” do you go to LA much”?  I reply, “all the time”.

We are now going to exchange phone numbers. I start writing mine on a napkin. She goes into her purse and pulls out a glossy, Miss May, 2005.

I ask her, “You’re kidding me”. She replies, “That’s why I was flirting with you yesterday, I was working for Coors at an exclusive party. I didn’t know anyone there, and was going to invite you to go”.

I excused myself, and came back with a fork and a butter knife. I gave the utensils to her and begged her to “Kill me now.”  She laughed, and I cried inside.

Popularity: 83% [?]

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It seemed to be just another day at the office.  Pre-boarding went well, boarding was fine, and we left on time for a Phoenix to Detroit late afternoon flight.

The flight was full of business people.  It was a weekday and we also had our share of leisure passengers.

We started our first beverage service and a call button rings.  As your Flight Attendant Career flourishes you will find that the call button is rarely your friend.

I move away from the beverage cart toward the call button light. I’m over the wing and there is a business man at the window looking a little shaken up.  There is a woman in the middle seat with clothes so tight they look like they were painted on.  At the aisle seat was a guy that looked like Mr. T.

“How can I help you?” I asked.  Apparently the man sitting at the window had fallen asleep and his hand had grazed the woman seated in the middle seat.  He was very apologetic as he explained what had happened.

The Mr. T wannabe wasn’t going to buy this guy’s story.  According to “T”, the man “disrespected his women” and he wanted to know what I was gonna do about it.

In Flight Attendant School we are briefed on disruptive passenger behavior.  I took a breath and assured “T” that I thought it was an accident and that it wouldn’t happen again.  The window man apologized again and I thought all was well.

Back I go to the beverage cart.  Not more than four minutes later a call button rings.  This now equals two more call buttons than I want to hear in a month.  I leave my cart and believe it or not it was “T”.

I asked, “Did it happen again?”  “T” tells me “no.”  I then asked if I could get him anything.  His reply was ” no,” but this man had disrespected his woman and what was I gonna do about it?
There was an empty row across the aisle and one row back.

I offered to move “T” and his friend to that aisle for their comfort.  They took me up on the offer.

We complete the beverage service.  I’m standing in the back galley when “T” approaches me.  I asked him again if I could get him something. H is reply kinda shocked me.  “You are pretty lucky,” he says.  I asked, “What do you mean?”   He said that if it was a couple of years ago and someone had disrespected his women like that, I would have seen how Black he really was.

That was it.  Flight Attendant Career be damned.  I said, “Well now you get to see how Italian I really am. Go to your seat.   If you have to go the bathroom, ring your call button.  You know where it is.  If you get out of that seat for anything, I swear on my mother’s eyes, we will land this plane immediately.  Peoria, Gallup, I don’t care where we are.  Do you get it?”

“T” went back to his seat.  I went up to the Flight Deck and asked the fellows to have a Gate Supervisor meet the flight.

When we landed there were six Detroit Police Officers at the door.  I looked at one of them and said, “I only needed a Gate Agent.”  The officer said “T” had felony warrants and wanted me to identify him as he approached the door.

“T” is no longer with us.  He now has a different boarding pass and it’s to…….

The big house.

Popularity: 90% [?]

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Flight Attendant School prepares us for the challenges of our career. We learn about safety, and customer service. We role play, we practice, we memorize, and we prepare to have long Flight Attendant Careers.

Unfortunately, we can’t prepare for everything. As real life situations show up, common sense may be the best asset we have.

Smiling in the face of adversity, you realize there really is never “just another day at the office”.

The Airline Industry has a way of running despite itself.  We are only small pieces of the airline puzzle, the Big Top.

It wasn’t too long ago that I had one of those magical, unpredictable, and ridiculously puzzling days.

It was a beautiful day in Portland, Oregon. Skies were clear, (which is a miracle), the van was on time to take our crew to the airport, and the outbound flight was at the gate waiting for us. It looked to be “just another day at the office”.

It was unusually warm, and the adventure started when one of the mechanics shared with us that the APU was in-op. This means no air conditioning, while on the ground.

Have you ever second guessed your boss, or anyone else? We all wondered why the mechanics wouldn’t just plug the aircraft into the ground power.

Passengers are boarded, aircraft begins to swelter, our Captain is in his seat, but there is no sign of his side kick, the First Officer.

This isn’t a good thing. It’s like Batman without Robin, Peanut without Butter.

We are now 45 minutes past departure, we find out that our “Robin” has called in sick.

Luckily for us we have a commuter First Officer on board. This guy works for us, and was in uniform, with all of his flying stuff; sounds too good to be true.

But noooooooooooooooooo, our Operations people decided to not let us use our perfectly situated First Officer.

Instead, the brain-trust of the operation decided to send another First Officer to us. The only problem was that the guy they were sending to us was in Las Vegas.

The three of us glanced at each other with that “you have got to be kidding me” look.

The topper was they wouldn’t let any passengers get off the airplane. Two hours later, passengers missed connections, people are sweating, and we are out of water our Golden Boy arrived.

The ironic thing is that our perfectly good First Officer did get off the airplane, and caught another lift.

All I could think was these poor people, and welcome to the Big Top, the airline industry today.

These are the days we pull out all of our resources in order to make it through the craziness.

Unfortunately, we learn fast, that along with our Mandatory Items, it may not be a bad idea to pack a Clown Nose, for the Circus.

Popularity: 77% [?]

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The “No Fly List” is usually a bad place to be on. Pilots are the architects of this labeling device. One can gain access to the “No Fly List” by doing a variety of things.

Pilots are a funny breed. Don’t get me wrong, some of my best buddies are seated in the front two seats. However, no matter how much you love the guys, they for the most part can be opinionated and self righteous.

Two grown people, crowded in a small space, for hours, on end, days at a time, have too much time to learn much about each other.

Politics, religion, women, maybe even the same women can come into play. In our Flight Attendant Careers we keep pretty busy. Flight Attendant School prepares us to present our announcements, care for our passengers, serve meals and drinks, etc…

We don’t have as much free time as the “Boys”, up front.

We were all taught at an early age that politics and religion don’t mix. Add a familiar woman into the bag, and the joint can start jumping in those first two seats.

The” No Fly List” allows the pilots to not beat each other up. I’ve seen these guys fly together for days and not mumble a word over the minimum to each other. It is miserable.

In our Flight Attendant Careers we will meet some real winners also; other Flight Attendants that are “a card or two short in the deck”.

I have flown with guys that have applied purple blush to their eyes after we close the front door.

I have flown with people that needed a shower a week ago.

I have flown with some very angry women, man haters, and I’m the only guy in the crew.

Get the picture?  And I’ve been with these people for up to four days straight.

Make note, keep an eye on your Crew Parings. Design your very own, “No Fly List” and keep politics, religion, and women out of the galley.

Popularity: 81% [?]

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In Flight Attendant School we learn the importance of Safety and Customer Service.

In our Flight Attendant Careers we try to accommodate the passenger in most any way we can. We want our Passengers to be relaxed and in comfort for the flight.

We do these things by simply checking seat belts, offering assistance, and serving refreshments. We are kind and considerate to our passengers.

Passengers will come up to us and ask us to hold the baby for a few minutes, heat up the cabin, or ask for a blanket. Passengers may even want to talk to us like we are Counselors, or Bar Tenders. They tell us their deep secrets and sometimes ask us for advice.

In our Flight Attendant Careers we wear many hats.

Our Flight Crew was informed that we had newlyweds on board. We were half way between Los Angeles and Maui and wanted to do something special for our newlyweds.

This couple was heading for their honeymoon. We trayed up a bottle of Champagne. We put a couple of the airlines finest crystal glasses on the tray, and mixed a little dry ice with water to give that smoky effect, and marched through coach to serve our little lovebirds.

The passengers on-board loved it. The lovebirds loved it. They thanked us and accepted the goods.

About an hour later, champagne bottle dry, lovebirds are a bit giddy.

Our lovebirds dance down the aisle, meet me in the galley and have a question for me.

“You have been so gracious to us”, the male bird slurs. “We have one other special request,” the female bird asks, as she giggles.

“We would like to become members of the Mile High Club, would that be OK?”

It has long been one of those things that people have fantasized about, with limited chances to join, based on your flight miles, I guess.

As Flight Attendants we don’t usually see all of the desire or romance about the “Club”. To join this “Club” two usually meet in the Lavatory.

The air craft lav is not really designed for wrestling or any other contact sports. The lav is very tiny. The lav is also VERY DIRTY.  You don’t want to bring a black light in the lav……………ever!

However, here I stand, with two lovebirds giggling and wanting to know if I’d allow them to join the Club.

I know what I did, what would you do?

Popularity: 80% [?]

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I’ve been flying for a long, long time. Flight Attendant School is just a memory. My Flight Attendant Career has had its fill of ups and downs. The one constant, the one thing that always makes sense, brings me to achieve balance, to find my center, to achieve the “che” is …………… the beer.

Once you have done this job long enough, you will discover the “happy” to Happy Hour. Heck, trips have been bid around Happy Hour.

All day long we deal with screaming babies, and their relatives. We never have time to eat a good meal. Our significant others are ticked at us for the way we make our living. We have to sometimes park in the pay lot. Our supervisors are not only miserable, but jealous that we can make a good experience out of it all.

First, you find the watering hole. Like “Cracker Jacks, it’s got to be great and it’s got to be now and it’s got to have a lot”.

This means cold beer, almost crystallized. This means a variety of beer. I’m a Ying Ling man whenever I’m east of the Mississippi, however, I do try to be patriotic to the region I’m sleeping in.

For example if I’m in Pittsburgh, I drink either “Rolling Rock”, or “IC Light”. If I’m in California, it’s always a “Pacifico”, and if I’m in St. Louis it’s got to be a “Bud”

The bartender has to be cute and kind. Once we find a great spot, we frequent it often. This usually means freebies; that my friends is what life is about.

Mahi Mahi fresh and affordable. I love to fly to Florida and Hawaii and I love my Flipper.

I also like a nice crisp green salad to complement my…………. beer.

If I’m in Philly, make it a Cheese Steak, with that “Ying Ling”.

Un-wind, bond with your crew, and meet the locals. No need to rent a “Caah” in Boston, the hotel shuttle will take you right to “Giovellis” to savor that fine “Sam Adams” while we watch the “Sox”.

Popularity: 86% [?]

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Flight Attendants and the TSA have a real love hate thing going on. In Flight Attendant School the number one learning factor is security and safety.

Flight Attendants can get a little bent out of shape when referred as “glorified waitresses in the sky”. The fact is we are there for the passenger’s safety, and the security of the aircraft.

In Flight Attendant School we learn all the little, and big secrets that revolve around the security of our environment. This includes not only the aircraft, but all of the areas that surround it. Basically, this is the airport, both in and outside of the gate areas.

We learn about what can go through the TSA detectors, with and without a beep to be heard. We know where the areas are in the airport that may not be real secure.

We spend a great deal of our lives at the airport and can identify the good TSA worker from the not so good.

We get frustrated when an overzealous TSA Employee decides to put us thru the ringer. Especially when we have our credentials, in uniform, and in a rush to sign in for our trip.

I imagine the TSA Employee also gets tired of the know-it-all Flight Attendant, that may not have attended basic Ms.Charming’s Charm School.

I’m no different than most Flight Attendants. I have always referred to the “worst part of the trip being over”, once I have made it thru the TSA radar.

In the beginning I used to let the TSA people ruin my day. I’d argue with them, and ask them what the point was of hand checking the three year old. I have even sunk low enough to refer to the TSA as, “Thousands Standing Around”.

As my Flight Attendant Career has developed, I learned to have more patience. I went from humming Ray Charles songs while being “wanded”, or moaning, ” I love that when you put that there” comments, to just being quiet and letting them do their jobs.

Live longer, laugh more, and enjoy life. The TSA is here to stay, there isn’t a reason to make it the worst part of a good day.

Popularity: 65% [?]

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