I remember meeting a few smokers during my time in flight attendant school and I always had to ask what they planned to do on those long flights to Australia and Japan if they ever dared to take them. The answers were usually the same:

“I’ll just use nicotine patches,” or, “I’ll quit by then.”

I do remember this one girl, Kimberly, whose answer nearly caused me to spit out the Starbucks I was drinking.

“I’ll just smoke in the bathroom,” she said.

“But it’s a federal offense Kimberly,” I replied.

“Only if you get caught.”

I thought she was surely joking.

I forgot about Kimberly after starting my flight attendant career, but one particular passenger reminded me of her one night.

I was on a long nine hour flight to Argentina, when I spotted a passenger nervously feeling around his pockets. Whatever it was he was looking for he must have found, because after a few nerve racking seconds he suddenly became calm, and headed for the bathroom. I didn’t believe it at first but my nose doesn’t lie. When he came out I exchanged a few strong words with him and warned him about the consequences of his actions. There was no cigarette to be found but it was completely apparent what he had done.

I had to spend the next hour writing up a report on the whole situation, so please don’t smoke on airplanes.

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