The time has come. Flight Attendant School is over. It is time to go to work. You are excited and extremely nervous.

Will you remember everything that you were taught? You worry about the basic things. Where do I stand during boarding? Am I making the right announcements, at the right time? How am I gonna get this galley prepared ahead of time, and where is everything?

Did I do my pre-flight completely? I forgot the names of my crew members, are they gonna think I’m nuts if I ask them again?

Is that baby seat allowed in the middle seat? How do I work this video machine?

Unfortunately or fortunately, your Crew will know that you are new. Your uniform shirt still has creases, your hair is too perfect, and your bags look like they just came from the shelf.

The first days of your Flight Attendant Career have begun. Along the road you will meet many a Crew Member. Most of these people will be helpful, smile at your naivety, and give you tips when you need them.

Most of your new crew mates will take you under their wing, guide you, and maybe even baptize you at the local watering hole, near the hotel.

However every once and a while you will run into the Titanic. This Crew Member worked “here” before you were born. Heck, before Moses was born. This crew member knows it all. Flight Attendant School courses be damned, there is only one way to do the task, and it’s their way.

They don’t talk to you much, unless you screw up. When these people are not rushing through the beverage services, they are reading or doing the USA Today Puzzle.

These people are the Battle Ax’s. You have nowhere to hide, and like a mother-in-law out of control, they are always in your face.

Pray to be released, pray for a cancellation. Stay out of their way, this breed is miserable. Make friends with the other Flight Attendant, and pray again, that the two of them were not from Class One.

You will make it through these times. Etch your experience in your mind; engrave the experiences in your soul. In twenty years you too will have a choice of, to be or not to be, a Battle Ax.

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